My Coming Out Story!
Before The Out:
My coming out story isn’t exactly… ordinary. But then again, who’s is? It took me a LONG time to come out to MYSELF (the most important person to come out to!). I started to think about being with girls when I was 12 but always just pretended it wasn’t actually a ‘thing’.
As the years progressed, I found myself in a typical cheesy high school sweetheart type of relationship with a man who was my best friend. I came out to him so many times. All as gay, but he shrugged it off, said “I needed a man to fix me”. I truly thought I was broken. He would catch me on Tumblr looking at photos of girls. We ended up breaking up for different reasons and I kept suppressing the thoughts I had of girls – I just thought they were friendship feelings! I never had a lot of ‘girl’ friends so I thought that was just how it was.
“IT FELT AS IF FIREWORKS SET OFF AS WE KISSED”
When I was 15, I found a girl that I wanted to go out on a date with and so I sneakily went and we had a kiss at the end of the night. güvenilir bahis I didn’t even like this girl more than one date but it felt as if fireworks set off as we kissed and all I could think to myself was, “If I feel this way with someone I don’t even know, imagine what it would be like with someone I liked or even loved”.
However, even with that, I suppressed everything. I poured my guts to my mom who always thought it was weird how I was with my boyfriends and she was so happy I had such a good night – but I couldn’t accept it. So, I didn’t… and continued hiding my feelings.
The big turning point for me came about 3 weeks before my High School Formal. I had to stand in the mirror and look at myself and admit out loud that I was gay. For the FIRST time. I cried for what seemed like days. My mom is my best friend and luckily, had been there for me throughout each and every feeling I’d had.
In that moment, I knew I had to come out. When we got home, I went straight to my room. I closed the door, sat on the floor in türkçe bahis the corner by my bed, and I started crying. My anger switched to fear. I started calling different friends, hoping I’d hear something that would give me the courage to come out to my family.
One of my friends had come out a few months prior, and her family disowned her. I was on the phone with her, trying to keep my voice together, and she told me it would be OK. As I heard my siblings getting ready to leave for their friends’ houses, I knew my window of opportunity was closing.
That was the moment. I hung up the phone, opened my bedroom door, walked down the hallway into the kitchen with my head down, and started crying. All my anger left. All my fear left. I felt exhausted, defeated, and vulnerable. In between sobs, I said, ‘I’m gay.’ The aftermath: I had less support than I realized I would have, which included a mock coming-out party, rainbow-painted cake, and a coming-out CD with Diana Ross’ ‘I’m Coming Out.'”
To tell you the truth, My Dad wasn’t güvenilir bahis siteleri thrilled at the moment and it took him some time to come around with the idea (to tell you truthfully, i’m still waiting for him to come around) I knew I eventually needed to tell my Babushka. I went to my Babushka one night and was talking with them.
I was opening myself to a new world. I went to a few formal events with my parents and started to get out of my little box. I met the most beautiful girl and we went on a date right after what seemed like forever, and when I held her hand in the movies, I felt like I was going to throw up from joy and I ended up being with her for two years. I came out at 18 and honestly? People were shocked & nasty about it because of my ‘serial dating’ but all my ex-boyfriends knew and I am friends with most of them to this day, They thought I was going through a faze and I’d find a man soon.
“I HAVE FOUND LOVE, I HAVE FELT HEARTBREAK AND I HAVE FELT REJECTION”
Since coming out as a lesbian, I have found love, I have felt heartbreak and I have felt rejection, but in doing so, I was being me for the first time and I wouldn’t change anything about that. I am now 18 years old and living for myself, authentically. It is never too late to be unapologetically you.